Building Trust

"No two moralities match. Accept different shapes, so long as they aren't sharp enough to hurt."

~ Matt Haig - The Humans 

 Since our launch in October, we've been working hard to build connections. By this I don't just mean a name on a mailing list, but real relationships with strong foundations. In the limited time that I have outside of work, this can be challenging but it is an essential.

Generally speaking, I've been met with enthusiasm (at one meeting recently a professional responded to my description of the Discovery College by throwing her hands in the air and saying 'Hallelujah!'. I'm not even kidding) and people have been keen to collaborate and to share expertise. However, at the other end of the spectrum there have been a few who have responded with tentativeness, distrust, scepticism or animosity.

It would be very easy for me to respond in kind; getting defensive and shutting the door to any future possibilities of working together, making sure they stay out of the loop of anything I'm working on or trying to make happen.

However, in that circumstance, it's not just me who loses out. Children, young people, families professionals - all of the people we're trying to work with will find it harder to navigate between our services and may ultimately miss out. This is not ok.

I appreciate that the Oxfordshire charity sector is a busy and vibrant one, and you may not see the need for another service. I appreciate that funding can feel very tight at times, and competitive, and it may feel like our presence here is a threat to your income. I appreciate that you have such a genuinely deep and valuable skill set and experience in your work, and perhaps feel that you could deliver this work better yourself.

However, I'm really not here with any agenda that involves taking from you or undermining you. My only agenda is to make available a service that I strongly believe will be a valuable contribution, and will complement what already exists. Do I think I'm the right person to be overseeing this? Absolutely. But I didn't come to that decision lightly, and I didn't come to it without some serious self-examination.

I'm going to persevere with that minority group of relationships that haven't come easy so far - they are strong and essential players in this field, and I think that together we could do even more fantastic work. I'm going to role model trust as best I can and keep trying to have visionary and brave conversations with them.

Oh, and just so you know - at home I'm sometimes referred to as 'Cuveo'. Cuveo means 'stubborn' in Ruchiga... We will be collaborating for the benefit of the people we serve, just you wait!

Oxford Speed Dating

Back in November I was honoured by two invitations to attend fantastic events:
One, the celebration of our host partner, Elmore's, 30th birthday at the inspiring Modern Art Oxford.
The other, a supper with other charity bods at the house of Tim Stevenson, Lord Lieutenant of Oxfordshire.

Now Tom Hayes had asked me to represent the College at Elmore's celebration some months ago, so when the second invitation rolled in for the same night, with an overlap of around half an hour, I'm sure you can understand why this was my message when I forwarded the letter to my partner:

To cut a not-very-long-but-very-frantic story short, I spent around an hour talking to the great and the good at Elmore's event (complete with our very first branded roller banner!) before then legging it just before the speeches.

Cue me running in 3-inch heels through the cobbled streets of Oxford, to arrive in a state of some disarray at the home of Tim Stevenson about 10 minutes later. Thankfully he and his wife, Marion, were incredibly welcoming and quickly sat me down at a table of likeminded people and plonked a glass of wine in my hand. We collectively reflected on the strains that hamper our work, and the resources or opportunities we've found that may alleviate some of these pressures.

I have to admit that my first thought when I received the invitation was to consider what opportunities meeting the Lord Lieutenant of Oxfordshire might present to the Discovery College; I didn't really consider who else might be there and how we might be of benefit to one another. However my main take away from the evening was a forceful reminder of what a diverse, dedicated, and fascinating sector we are, and how supportive we can be when we're given the opportunity.

Overall TripAdvisor rating: 10/10, fantastic food, inspiring conversation, and a small work out (if you run to the venue like I did) to boot. Would definitely recommend.